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As I finally sit down to write this
editorial I can still come up with a dozen different things I
would rather be doing. I’ve gotten the emails and phone calls that
it was due and I’ve still been out working instead of planting
myself in front of the computer because I would rather do that
then this any day! But, guess it’s my duty as a WSAA Board member
and each of us needs to do our part so here goes. It took me
awhile to decide on what to write. I didn’t want to sound negative
or controversial but a question has come up a lot around my house
lately and I just couldn’t resist asking you what you think. “Is
it OK for some kids to win and some kids to lose these days?”
We’ve discussed this topic a number of times at our dining table
and sitting in the tack area at shows and you get some interesting
feedback from both adults and kids. Reflecting back on a number of
local county fairs, junior and open shows I attended this summer I
can’t help but wonder; what are we really teaching our kids about
winning and losing and about life in general? I know that might
sound like a pretty philosophical question but it just seems like
our society is moving away from good old-fashioned competition and
pushing for more “fairness” when it comes to kids activities.
Parents, leaders, coaches, instructors, etc. are so concerned
about the competition arena being fair that I think the kids miss
out on a lot of learning opportunities. For example, our family
participated in a local county fair where new rules and
regulations were put in place to make the playing field “more
fair”. Parents and participants were told that in an effort to
allow all of the kids to compete more evenly they were
implementing rules for the steers that outlawed: adhesives, glues,
paints, conditioners, etc. They grudgingly relented on fly spray
and blowers. I think that by regulating things so tightly the kids
didn’t get a chance to learn. In this case the kids didn’t get to
learn a thing about fitting and preparation of their animals. My
wife joked that maybe the kids should just post a picture of their
animal in the stall rather than bring the real thing since they
couldn’t do much with it. Evidently those in charge felt that some
kids knew quite a bit more than others so rather than encouraging
the less experienced youth to learn from those with more
experience they tried to eliminate the competition. Are we pushing
this idea at Junior Angus shows too? Is it OK for kids to hire
help to fit their animals and show them what to do? We are all
seeing this more and more lately and it’s not just at cattle shows
or fairs. It’s becoming very common in kids sports teams, school
activities and many other areas. Adults are worried that kids
shouldn’t have to “lose” at anything. How can kids learn new
skills and improve on what they know if there aren’t any
incentives or anyone else to look up to? Is the message being sent
that it’s OK to be good at something just as long as someone else
who doesn’t do as well doesn’t feel bad? To answer my own question
– Yes, I think it is OK for kids to sometimes win and sometimes
lose. I think kids often learn more from losing then they do from
winning. When a kid stands eighth or ninth in class and looks at
the kids ahead of them in line they need to think “What did those
kids do that I didn’t do?” “What can I do to improve and work my
way up the line next time?” We don’t need those adult voices on
the sidelines saying “Those kids are too good and shouldn’t be
competing against these other kids; someone might get their
feelings hurt”. So I guess I’ll end with one more comment. Winning
and losing is a part of life and everyone, including kids, need to
learn how to compete with others knowing that sometimes you win
and sometimes you lose but there’s always another day with another
competition. Learning to lose gracefully, whether you’re a kid or
adult, is something we can all stand to work on once in awhile.
Sincerely,
Mark Malson
WSAA Director
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